HOW TO FORNICATE
BY MIKEL K
December 2008 K Poems
"Seriously, you never write anything that does not in some way, shape or form, heal me. If only your words made my thighs thinner. Hugs for the healing!"
--Lisa in Wisconsin
i love it. i havent said this for fear of insulting you (because you never know a person's tastes), but i love charles bukowski with all my heart, and your poetry reminds me of his.
i dont mean it is derivative, just that it makes me feel the same way his does. which is a very big compliment, from my point of view.
--jane smithie
A true seeker does not accept doctrine
You are an issuer of ultimatums
and I don't like being told what to do.
For the cat
Jaggar doesn't like the soft treats
that I just bought; he leaves them
where they fall on the floor.
Jaggar likes the hard treats, the ones
that make noise when they hit the floor,
the ones that go crunch on his teeth.
Morisson likes both kinds of treats,
and I have to yell out to the dog
not to eat what has been dropped
on the floor for the cat.
If I rented you a diamond ring
If I bought you an apartment;
if I rented you a diamond ring.
What if everything that was
supposed to make you happy
brought you misery instead?
Ying Yang
You lowered my blood sugar,
but you made my blood boil.
And I will be mesmerized
And I will dive in,
too deep; lose sleep,
be blind to that that is right
in front of me; you will stand,
and I will be mesmerized.
Conversation
I will offer her a t-shirt,
and she will sip on tea,
and listen to me ramble on
about my children, my animals,
and the poems that keep me alive.
All the love that we made
You're on my right side.
She brought out the worst
in me;
Funny how we only remember
getting screwed over,
and not all the love that we made.
Thoughts of you
Inside, I wander
further than I ever could
outside, there is a world
waiting for me they tell me
that it's not good to be
alone, I find my best
moments far apart from
thoughts of you.
It's not enough
I could have been an abortion
not put into motion to feel something like this,
give me a kiss, make me feel better,
then send me a letter, that says it's not enough.
Good inside
You will do your inspections,
and I will never leave you a
clue,
the giraffes are being fed,
the natives have been bribed;
I'm feeling really good inside.
Having never been married
You are so young,
and I am not so old,
except for having
never been married.
Define me
I'm crazy, yes
and yet
I'm going to drink
this caffeine,
because it doesn't matter
if I am crazy, alone, because
then there is no one there to
define me.
No end
You are disposable,
like I have been disposed.
We are fragile
with our egos.
There was no beginning.
There will be no end.
As I sip slowly on tea
She initiates it,
and then she says
that we shouldn't have done it.
A thought on writing poems in the morning
Don't soak it,
don't cloak it,
in something
that it never could be.
Set it free.
Don't sanitize it.
Don't stretch it
out,
like adding water to
a household cleaner
because the money is not
holding out.
They say
Honey, do drop in,
drop in and save me,
drop in and pave my
intentions,
with good, and not
bad.
You're the best
that I've ever
had.
They say that the best
is what you have now.
Mr. Satan was designed to
Mr. Satan,
you can't bother me,
because I am being held
by angels,
and I don't believe in you,
anyway.
You are like a Disney character,
who was designed to manipulate me.
I can't control the universe
They have ruined the world,
and now they get to retire
with millions of dollars,
and smiles on their faces,
and bread in their bellies,
and it seems so unfair,
because it seems like
there is nothing we can do.
I hate to feel powerless,
but I have been taught
that I can't control the universe.
I like to bag my own groceries
They hardly ever
bag your groceries
anymore,
and they,
only pump your gas
in New Jersey
that I know of.
But that doesn't mean
that the world is ending,
because
I like to pump my own gas,
and I like to bag my own groceries.
I have heard the woman screaming
Would you have an abortion?
Do you have the notion
that somebody else ought to tell you
what to do?
Do you get confused by all the options?
Would you like to shut your senses down?
I have heard the woman crying.
I have heard the woman screaming.
I don't know what to do.
Too many problems so why was he here?
Bundy is becoming a better and better dog
every day. My problem child is less a problem
child, right now, than he has ever been.
We had our way with each other
I've had my way with you,
or you've had your way
with me; it doesn't really matter,
each of us was satisfied,
each of us left with a smile
on our face.
Nothing else in there for him
The cat never fails to come
and stand in front of the refrigerator
when I forget to close its door behind me.
It is as if the cat knows that his breakfast
for the next morning is stored in there.
Does he know that nothing else in there
is for him?
From here out
A really neat thing about working
is days off; though they be consumed
with cleaning the abode, and doing
laundry.
The less time I have,
the more productive
that I am; I think.
No more idle daydreaming for me;
it's all about production from here out.
Sounds of Love
Surround me.
Surround yourself.
Surround yourself,
with sounds of love.
Knowing that he was right
You got rejected again,
and those emails that say no
are starting to feel like a
friends,
someone told you yesterday
that, eventually, they would
accept you,
and you looked at him,
and smiled, knowing that he was right.
Past landlords
The toilet is broken
and you have spoken
to the landlord about it,
and he says, "yes,"
you can buy the parts,
fix it, and deduct the cost
from the rent,
and you know that
you are in better
hands than you have been
in a long time.
Past landlords didn't care
if your toilet flushed or
not.
English Refugee
You helmet didn't hide or protect you,
a quiff just wasn't disguise enough
to keep you from catching a brick
thrown by a drunken Teddy boy.
The only place you were really safe
was in a borstal run by The Kray Twins.
How did I exist before laptops and the internet?
It is very cold outside, this morning,
33 degrees according to my computer,
which also tells me what time it is.
How did I exist before laptops and the internet?
Why won't the government pay my debt?
The credit card companies
buy your phone number
from your doctor's office
and then they program it
into a computer that rings
your home all day long.
When you answer the phone,
a computer voice asks you
to stay on the line to wait
for a very important call.
Get that: you are supposed
to wait on the line so that
a bill collector can try to
collect on an old debt that
has already ruined your credit.
You tried to work out something
with the credit card company
at the time that you were having
the financial difficulty,
but they would have none of it;
it is pay it all, or they turn
it over to the debt collectors.
And the banks who are behind
these credit cards are getting
billions of dollars, now, from
the government.
Why won't the government pay
the bill collectors for me,
so that I will not get these
harassing phone calls all day?
To bring my bill down
My electric bill arrived yesterday,
and it was $220, which is quite a bit,
especially when you think how small
this place is that I live in.
The landlord said that running the heat
at 78 degrees when I was home,
and 70 degrees when I was away was not a good idea,
that he runs his heat at 68 degrees when he is home,
and 60 degrees when he is not home.
I like it hot inside in the winter,
and cool inside in the summer;
but I may have to adjust my desires to bring my bill down.
I can't see straight in front of me
I learned, yesterday, that there is
no such thing as tomorrow; it is a
figment of my imagination,
just as
there is no such thing as yesterday,
except for, in my memory,
so yesterday doesn't really exist.
There is only now.
Om.
The past doesn't exist.
The flower is dead.
The smile is now a frown.
Love has turned to hate.
Indifference has turned
into indifference.
I don't need a love that cripples me
You burdened me,
and, it appears from your feeble attempts to contact me,
that you wish to be a burden to me, again.
That is not going to happen.
You made your choices,
and, now, I have made mine,
and our choices will never intersect again.
You praise your meal ticket
telling her that she is a Goddess,
when you know damn well that she is not.
Snot runs from her nose,
just like it does from everybody else's,
and often it runs more fully from mouth
than even yours.
Somehow I have missed a day
No wonder everybody's closed
when I call them, on the phone,
today, thinking that it's Friday,
when it's not.
It's Saturday; somehow, I have
missed a day.
Not so silent night
The book told me that we can't live
with silence, that
we must always have music or the television on.
Somewhere far far away
There is a tree in the woods,
and there is snow falling,
and, there are footprints
in the sand, on a beach,
somewhere far far away.
Who made that bitch the beauty queen?
Nothing good can come from this
I tell myself but still I press
on, knowing that what my inner
voice tells me is wrong.
I read poetry that is supposed
to be good, and I think it sucks;
it's like, who made the stuck up
bitch barbie type the beauty queen?
I hear nothing
I hear nothing without outside stimulation;
Om might not be a good place to be for my poetry.
Would I rather write poems,
or achieve piece of mind?
Would you rather have binoculars in Hell,
or exist in Heaven blind?
I am saddened by the madness
I am saddened by the madness that I see,
but my sympathy doesn't put dollars in the bank
for the poor at Christmas.
Do my dogs bark at ghosts?
Sometimes, the dogs hear things
at the front door, that I never see.
They growl and bark, and I expect
to see someone at the door, and hear
them knock, but, mostly, these people never appear.
When it suits him not to
Bundy, still, often doesn't listen,
and I, once again, this morning, caught the dog
licking the last of the cat's food
out of their bowls.
It sounded like he was getting
a drink of water from the bowl
that I try to keep full of water
in the kitchen, and I looked up
and there he was, tongue licking
cat food.
"No," I hollered at him,
but Bundy has not really learned
what, "No," means,
at least when it suits him to not.
A note to my daughter when she is bored
The day might be dull if you let it,
time is both fake, and a precious commodity,
don't let it slip away.
Even in the small town that I live in
I have made my mark
on society,
and
society has made
its mark
on me.
Into the iguana that I might be
It's not true, but I'd like to say
that I don't lend out books, because
when you lend them they never return.
I'd like to die with all my books burned
with me, take all that knowledge with me
to heaven or hell, or into the iguana
that I might next be.
rock n roll is transient
rock n roll is transient
unlike a bookstore
axl rose doesn't have
a day job
i'm kind of jealous of sean penn.
Since I Was Young
I'm reading Slash's biography,
or is that memoir, and his passion
for guitar shines through and makes
me pick up my out of tune six string.
I gave my tuner to my kid,
and I really can't ask for
it back, so I just play the
guitar out of tune;
but where Slash played it for hours
and hours, I play it for minutes,
and lose interest in it, and wander back
to the world of words that has
held me captive since I was young.
They get you
They get you coming or going,
so why not just enjoy the ride;
you can't take it with you,
you can't take it to the other side
Kick such bullshit to the curb
Love should not be filled with lies,
and "love" that is filled with lies,
I cast aside.
Maybe I'll walk on water, also
They have issued a flood warning
for my part of the country;
if I have to I'll part the waters
and walk on through.
It's all about the breath, baby
You inhale when you're born,
you'll exhale when you die;
in between you'll breath in
and breath out, sometimes
aware of your breathing,
sometimes not aware of it.
"Through the right control of breathing(Prana), we overcome ignorance."
--Patanjali (I.52)
"The value of Yoga is that it brings the body to a state of real health, clarifies the mind, transforms sluggishness and laziness into a state of alertness, and moves us into a state of balance."
--John McAfee
Into the Heart of Truth, The Spirit of Relational Yoga
We owe it all to Patanjali
You are the walrus;
I am an enigma.
Better to eat oatmeal, in the morning,
than to be a stigma.
I hear the rain hitting the pavement, this morning,
as I sit at my desk and type in the warm and dry abode
that I am blessed to be living in. Yesterday, as we were
driving in his car, and the Georgia rain was pounding down
around us, my friend was telling me how much he loved the rain.
"It cleans the air," he said. "It nourishes the earth.
It gives us water to drink. I love the rain."
I sat there, silently, thinking that, when my friend dropped
he dropped me off at the train station, in minutes, that I would
soon be walking home in that rain, utilizing a half-broken umbrella;
so I did not fully share his enthusiasm for the rain, at that moment.
It was one thing to be happy about the rain from the warm
and dry confines of your car, but an entirely different thing
to be out there walking in it, under an umbrella that was not
fully functional!
As I was thinking this, my friend said to me, "I'm going to take you
all the way home." I smiled at him, and immediately felt the same
that he did about the beautiful rain!
I just did all my Christmas shopping, in about a half hour, and I spent only $40. As I was slowly walking home I was impressed by all the people in cars rushing to get somewhere, beeping horns at each other. Yahoo announced they were firing people today. Two weeks ago, after two months of looking, I got, what is for me, a dream job: barista in a coffee shop at a bookstore.
I have never been so glad to have a job in my life. I realize that I got a job when many, many people are losing their jobs. My job gave me a Christmas present of 40% off anything in the bookstore or coffee shop, today. What a blessing; I usually give books, or coffee to most of my family and friends.
I can't, and really try not to tell others what to do, but I have found that consciously slowing down has been really helpful for me.
I am really thankful that I don't have a car, and don't need one. I can walk to everything I need: my daughter's school, my yoga studio, the coffee shop that I work at, a grocery store that I really like.
I am really thankful that I have a job, and my best wished, positive thoughts, and prayers go out to those who don't have a job, or are in the process of losing their job.
Drunken bitches broken hearts
some things are better off left unspoken
I'm on the road hitchhiking
Looking for another place to call home.
Bundy chewed the shit out of Morisson's comforter, today, a throwback to chew behavior that he hasn't exhibited in a long while. Dumb ass dog; Morisson freely shared the comforter with Bundy. He spent many a night curled up on it in the fetal position, both alone, and with Morisson.
Bundy has come a looooooooooong way, though; the fucking dog will actually sit when I ask or tell him to, and let me put his leash on him so that we can go on one of the walks about the neighborhood that he gets so excited about.
May my multi-vitamins never run out;
I want to live through eternity, turn
the television on, I'll never know
what's going on outside my window
my cat's sit in my window and watch
the sun rise.
I turned on the tv, tonight, and some old asshole was telling some worn out younger broad how you could buy tax foreclosed houses that were worth more than a hundred thousand dollars for three hundred bucks. I turned the tv off.
Scout has me watching The Discovery Channel a bit, now, instead of CNN all the time, the few times that the tv is turned on in this abode. I like the idea of finding solutions much better than the idea of selling soap by broadcasting the shit of the world into people's homes. There is good news out there, you just don't much find it in tv news.
It is almost Christmas, and some people, in this neighborhood, still have pumpkins on their porch. Maybe they are shooting heroin, inside those abodes, and have forgotten about the change of holidays. I wonder what went on inside those homes on Thanksgiving?
It's not all peace and love, baby
It's late, and I might be lonely, but I'll never tell.
It's two a.m. going to take the dogs for a walk,
haven't heard from you in awhile; oh well.
She's not good looking enough to be a bitch; fat legs, and a dour puss that would make your stomach sick to wake up next to in the morning, even if you were still drunk. But a bitch she is, and my strategy, with such a lady, these days, is to stay as far away from her as possible.
I like having a job, and I feel blessed to have a job,
in these uncertain times, where so many people don't have,
and are losing their jobs
It's late, and I might be lonely, but I'll never tell.
It's two a.m. going to take the dogs for a walk,
haven't heard from you in awhile; oh well.
She's not good looking enough to be a bitch; fat legs, and a dour puss that would make your stomach sick to wake up next to in the morning, even if you were still drunk. But a bitch she is, and my strategy, with such a lady, these days, is to stay as far away from her as possible.
I like having a job, and I feel blessed to have a job,
in these uncertain times, where so many people don't have,
and are losing their jobs.
I work today, my first day shift,
and I am looking forward to it.
I like my job.
I am rather amazed that my sugar count was 115,
this morning; because yesterday evening I went
to a party and chowed down on some sweets.
Bundy was a bit bitchy this morning;
he was whining some, and wanting to
bark.
There is really nothing to complain about.
For the most part, we make our own choices,
we listen to our own voice, and then we sing.
Trying to keep the bill down
I have turned the heat down
I am feeling down because I
don't like to be chilly at home.
Ho. Ho. Ho.
I hung white lights on my front door frame, tonight,
and attached a large colorful stocking to my front
door. Awhile back, I gave my Christmas tree to
my son's wife. She put it up several weeks ago,
which is great. I would hate to have given my tree
to someone who just let it sit in the box for the holidays.
I also placed my Santa collection on the table on
my patio.
Ho. Ho. Ho.
If I was
I ate too many sweets at this holiday party
that I went to, tonight; my blood sugar will
be through the roof, when I check it in the
morning.
I'm lucky that I am not that popular,
and don't get invited to many Holiday Parties
because I might not make it to Christmas if
I was invited to many such events, where sweets
are so prevalent, and my love for them so high.
The bus ride home, tonight, was interesting.
This couple was trying to find a hotel.
Everyone on the bus had an opinion as to where it was,
but me.
When the couple found the hotel that they were looking for,
and got off the bus, everyone still riding the bus was surprised
that that was the hotel that they were looking for.
The bus driver said that he didn't realize that
the white couple was looking for a hotel in "the hood."
There are some parts of town, I have been told,
that if you are there in your car, and you are white
they will pull you over, because you are in a "known drug area."
For being an asshole
I'm a hideous old man, face covered in everything
that I did to try and kill myself, when I was younger;
and I don't mean something as obvious as
an intentional overdose, or shotgun blast to the face.
My suicide attempts were more subtle,
smile on my face at crowded bars until
I'd had one or ten too many, and you saw me
being thrown out onto the streets, kicked to the curb
for being an asshole.
A Good God Day
Look up, what do you see?
The sun, stars, clouds,
maybe heaven on a good day.
A good day. Have a good day.
Every day should be a good day,
a God day.
I just shed a tear or two
I just burst out into tears while listening to, "Losing My Religion," by REM, and chatting with my friends on Face Book, and sipping on some espresso beans that someone gave me during a recent harder time. I should be dead, I should be in jail. I should be in a mental institution. I should be unemployed, but I am none of the above. I am a happy, healthy father, with a great job, a poet, whom the words never stop coming to, a friend with friends, a "Master" to dogs, cats, turtles, and fish, who often run the show in the abode.
Abode? Oh yes, I have a warm and happy abode. What a blessing.
Sometimes, you just have to stop and say thanks.
I have this Yoga sentiment posted over the sink in my kitchen; it says: "Increased fullfillment and harmony in our life can come from balancing what we already have..."
Dig it, baby.
Happy Holidays.
K
We are all a work in progress
Took a walk on the bad side of town,
didn't have to go far and when I took a look around,
I saw my neighbors and friends.
Sign O The Times
I put money into the bank
just long enough to be able
to transfer it to the credit
card, to pay a bill with.
Until
Sometimes, we are all just marks
for some people; they want to
sell us something, they want our
vote, and then we don't here from
them, again, until the next cd comes out,
until the next election.
The cool people and the businessmen
The cool people aren't cool,
and the businessmen, obviously,
never knew what they were doing,
but they still want to get paid,
anyway.
Have you ever read a book so good that you turned off the tv?
Have you ever slurped coffee,
then spit it out, just to taste the aroma?
Have you ever felt happy
on a rainy day?
Have you ever wondered if
free markets are really free,
and maybe, then, only when
it comes to you and me?
Have you ever had the birth
of a child change your life,
got you out of your head,
made you stop thinking about
just you?
Have you ever put a buck or two
in the salvation army basket?
(They gave me a mattress, once,
when I was sleeping on the floor.)
Have you ever wondered why
some flowers are still blooming
at Christmas, in the cold?
Have you ever wondered why girls
are so pretty; are they a gift
from God, or something sent by Satan
to make your life hard?
Have you ever wondered if there
will be enough oil to drive cars
forever?
Have you ever gone on the nod,
and then recovered?
Have you ever read a book so good,
that you turned off the tv?
All the babes are all alone,
nobody is calling them on the telephone;
their looks have worn thin,
their personalities have worn everybody out.
When you were younger,
you were the bomb,
the life of the party,
all over town.
As a rule you stuck your nose up
at most everybody, and now nobody,
comes around.
but...
You're all alone talking to a million people at once
on the telephone; they are looking at your image
on the tv, on the movie screen; they've got your books,
they've got your cds, and yet that's not enough.
You look up at the stars and you've become one, but...
Instead of starting to shoot pool
I'm feeling quite nervous.
I'm treading water at the
deep end; no life preserver
in sight. The life guard
has gone home; I climbed
over the fence. I'm in over
my head. I can feel myself
slipping. I wish that I'd
stuck with the swimming lessons,
instead of starting to shoot
pool.
A note to the offspring
You must think I'm stupid.
I'll eventually find out
all the things that I am
supposed to know.
I don't drink my coffee black
I love coffee, but I am convinced
that I also love half and half, and stevia,
because I don't drink my coffee black.
With the gift of life
If I am allowed to live long enough,
I will do things with my poetry that
I did not think was possible.
All things are possible with the gift of life.
The real bad ass
He is a very calm man,
who knows jiu jitsu-like take downs,
and at least a little kung fu.
Sometimes the real bad ass
is not the person with the big mouth.
That said
Each poem is a little story,
so much easier to read than a whole book.
That said, I am going to
lay down on my bed, and read a book.
A cigarette story
A man at the bookstore, yesterday, asked me,
several times, if I had a light,
and I told him, politely, several times no;
and I told him once, again politely, the story of
how long it had taken me to quit smoking.
Smoking is a nasty habit, a serious addiction.
I smoked from when I was 18 until I was almost 38.
It took me six long and hard years of trying, to quit.
In the beginning smoking was grand,
at the end, I had bronchitis,
and would often cough blood,
after smoking a pack and a half
while out on the town drinking.
Each other's idiosyncrasies
Long hours on my feet
mean that a little sit
down is a great reward.
Most people are happy
to be alive; a few are
obstinate, they view
other humans as an obstacle
to their peace.
It takes all kinds to make
up this planet; we have to
respect each other's idiosyncrasies.
My cat won't kill me
I don't really like it when my cat gets up on my desk,
but there is not much that I can do about it, so when
I am not using my laptop I close it, and put something
on it, so that he can't walk on it, and reconfigure it,
like he has done in the past,
and then I just put up with the disarray that he causes
to the rest of the desk.
I figure that it won't kill me that he has knocked over
the container that holds the paper clips every once in awhile.
Writing during very normal days
It seems, sometimes, during these very normal days
that there is nothing to really write about;
on occasion, I stare at the computer screen,
and it stares back at me.
Then I realize that it is o.k. to write about normal things,
and the computer keys then consume me.
From the joyous way that they sing
When I walk home from work,
way past midnight, I pass
a Home Depot that has been
closed for hours,
inside the closed building
I always hear a symphony
of birds, caged, I guess,
inside the Garden Dept.,
but, seemingly, happy to be alive,
from the joyous way that they sing.
I know that my dog misses me
I made my coffee, Melitta style,
this morning, and it is a bold
and rich cup of coffee that I
drink, slowly waking up, totally
anticipating going back to bed.
Morrisson has his head on my knee,
as I sit at my desk, sip on the coffee,
and type.
I know that my dog misses me,
now that I am out of the house more,
making coffee for people at the bookstore.
No apology necessary
She apologizes for complaining
in her letter, not realizing
that she is not complaining at all
just sharing her day.
Have you ever wasted your time talking to an asshole?
Have you ever wasted your time talking to an asshole?
You were real friendly to the person, and they were
real stand offish to you, and later you wonder why
you were so nice to a dick head, why you wasted any
of your time and effusive personality on them?
At the end of my barista evening
At the end of my barista evening,
I join the booksellers in the bookstore
in re-shelving books,
and straightening different book sections out,
and although I am tired when this hour arrives,
I always look forward to it, because I love books.
I love looking at books,
I love holding books,
and, sometimes, I even love reading them.
ps I also love writing them!
what's your blood type?
we are supposed to ask
the customer for their name
so that we can call out to them
when their beverage is ready.
you should see the look that
some people give me when I ask them
for their names, and it is not just
women who give me quirky looks;
some men act like i had just asked
them for their blood type and
their social security number.
in the middle of making this intricate coffee drink
this guy is cool
but
i was in the middle
of making
an intricate coffee drink
for the first time
and he comes up to the counter
real quick
and asks for a cup of water
like he is in a hurry
i like the guy
he comes in to the coffeehouse
all the time
never buys anything
just finds books and magazines
to read
and sits there and reads them
anyway
i tell him
i'll get to it
in a minute
meaning his water
and i go back to reading the recipe
on how to make this intricate coffee drink
Too early for Santa
The other night there was a flashing red light
outside my front door, that I knew was not related to
the wide assortment of colored lights that I
turn on on my porch every night for the holidays.
I knew that it was a week or so too early for Santa
to be here, so I got up to investigate: there was
an ambulance out on the road.
I said a prayer for whoever the ambulance had come for,
and I went back to sleep.
Just write
Just write, don't worry about what you have written.
You can look at it later and see if it is worth a durn.
Just a thought
Yoga and my writing must not suffer
because of my new job; although
during this holiday season,
my new job is consuming a lot of hours.
On becoming a whipped cream expert
There is an art to adding whipped cream to a coffee drink.
First, you squirt whipped cream around the edge of the drink,
and then you fill it in the middle.
At my new job, as a coffee barista, I am becoming
a bit of a whipped cream expert.
I am more snappy internally when I am tired
When I am tired, I am way less tolerant
than I am when I am well rested.
My mind is more snappy, quicker to make
a harsh decision about something stupid
that someone may have said or done,
although I may not react to their behavior visibly.
We had a customer, last night, who appeared
to be in a great hurry, but it turned out
that he was just hungry.
Hunger can do strange things to you, also.
I guess that I should just give thanks
How should you react to someone sending you a picture
of themselves as a way of greeting you for the holiday?
I think that that is a good thing
Bundy was edgy last night, standing by the front door and whining
quite a bit. A let him outside, in the middle of the night, but when
I woke, this morning, I found that I had not let him out soon enough;
there were several turds scattered along the hallway to the bathroom.
I have lived in this apartment for almost three months, and this is
the first time that I have had to clean up dog droppings off of the
floor.
I think that that is a good thing.
I'm reading this book about The Irish;
it seems that the British were not very nice to them.
Have you ever noticed that landlords become invisible
after you have called them, and told them that your apartment
needs things done to it?
Now that I have had a cup of coffee,
I am going back to bed.
No one to pucker up to in there
There was a room full of women,
but not one who I would have wanted
to kiss.
God should make you happy
When you say "Happy Holiday," to some people,
they snap back at you, "Merry Christmas," in
a very harsh manner, not wishing you any holiday
cheer at all, but just being mean and bitter
about the whole thing.
I guess that the holiday greeting has some sort
of religious connotation for them. I think that
it is sad that their God has lead them to be so
mean and bitter.
God should make you happy.
A novel approach
Have you ever only been able to think
in sentences and not paragraphs, when
trying to write a novel?
I need to clean the turtles tank,
the water is murky.
I made coffee Melitta-style, this morning,
it tastes richer,though there were a few
grounds that I had to stab out with a facecloth.
I went to Java Lords, tonight, with my good friend, David S. Barron.
He is shooting a documentary on the 90's Atlanta music scene, and,
for some strange reason, he wants me in it! "I was the Atlanta music
scene, in the 90's," I jokingly tell him, at least for those parts of
it that I can remember...
Why is it that days off go by so much faster than days on?
I am going to clean the turtles' water,
this morning. I wonder if they really
give a damn about clean water?
It is good to be insulated, to live in
your own little world, and not be affected
by the wanton behavior of your fellow man.
I haven't beat anyone's ass in years,
but the thought of it has crossed my mind, recently!
I am concerned with the behavior of others,
this morning, which is not a good thing.
Rubbing elbows with the mass of man and woman
can be stressful. I don't like stress. I don't
like all of the mass of man and woman.
I leave the front door open a bit,
in the mornings, for the cats,
so that they can stick their nose on
the security door glass and stare at
the outside world.
Today, they see Christmas lights
in front of them that I have just
turned off for the day.
I like to put up lights for the holidays.
Some people are so un-festive, but that is
their prerogative.
The day is starting late,
but it ended late.
The coffee that I sip is
returning me to normalcy.
Some people are so uptight,
it's too bad that they don't
have some real problems in
their life to wake them up.
The fish is asleep, the turtles are asleep, the cats are asleep, the dogs are asleep, but, tonight, I refuse to go to sleep, and I know why...it's because I have a job! A job is a great thing to have, but I am so used to having complete free time, that a job steals a lot of free time from me; so I am going to have to figure out ways to get some of that time back, and one of them will be to load up on Irish tea and refuse to go to bed "on time!!"
My black cat, Jaggar, loves to sleep on the books that I keep on the floor underneath my desk, because I have been, so far, too lazy to put them up. Each time I walk by Jaggar, I am tempted to rub my foot in his belly, but Jaggar will respond to this by waving his claws at me. Now, I am fast enough, in this situation, to pull my foot back, but later, I will be walking about the house, and I will have forgotten about Jaggar, but he will not have forgotten about me, and he will reach out and scratch my foot, because I have conditioned him to do so.
I was thinking, favorably, awhile ago, about this woman that I briefly went out with. She was intelligent, she turned me on to new things, and she was great in bed, but...she was more than a bit of a nag, and thus stresssssssssssed me out, greatly, so I kicked her to the curb, as they say, or used to say, in Punk Rock Clubs.
My parents came to this country on a boat, she from Dublin, he from County Cork; he lived in the garage, she lived in the kitchen, they stayed married for The Pope.
It's late; I'm babbling. More thoughts on marriage, good lovin' gone bad, and cats and dogs that make my world go round, later.
I ate some fish, tonight, for dinner. It was homemade fried fish. I made it in my home. That makes it homemade. I makes me some yum, yum good fried fish; just ask my son. He thinks that it is yum yum, also. I makes me some yum yum tartar sauce, too. Yum, yum. Thank God for having a home, and some food in it. The dogs and cats think so, also. Yum yum.
To my way of thinking, it sucks when
a kid smells like an ashtray
because an adult can't wait until
the end of a car ride to smoke.
On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
a letter saying that she no longer loved me.
On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
An eviction notice and an email
saying to give her back the keys to the apartment.
On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
Three French Hens
Two Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
Decaf or Regular?
I looked over my shoulder,
from the kitchen, a moment ago,
to see one of my cats sniffing
my coffee cup that was on my desk.
Maybe, now, I understand why
these cats, that I have, sometimes,
engage in high speed chases
from one end of the apartment
to the other.
A trashy tale
It is Sunday, and most everyone
who lives on the same street that I do
had their trash out by the curb,
last night, as I was walking home
late from work.
Trash doesn't get picked up
until Monday, and I am wondering
why everyone has put their trash
out so early.
Certainly, they are not going to
pick up the trash on Sunday...?
Sometimes you can't read a face
People are nice
even some mean people
when you are nice to
them.
I am learning that talking
to a face that appears to
be scowling, may produce a
pleasant reaction.
What is the old saying,
never judge a face by its cover?
When zombie like behavior works
I spew party line
from time to time
repeating things
that I have been taught
that have worked for me
to someone who seems to
be in the same situation
that often occurs to me.
What an ungrateful little beast
I wish that there was more happening,
but at 2:52 a.m. the only thing going on
is my cat scratching his claws
on my bulletin board, apparently trying to
tear down one or two of the reminders that
I have left to myself on there.
I guess my cat wants the light to go out
in this apartment, or for my cell phone to be turned off.
What an ungrateful little beast.
Santa brought my dogs a present
A lady friend of mine,
who I have never met,
or even spoken to
beyond exchanging messages
on my space,
sent my dogs the most wonderful
Christmas gift: a box of dog treats.
The dogs are asleep now,
but before they went to bed
they chewed on, and chowed down on
dogie candy canes.
It is really nice
when someone else
spoils your dogs,
and I thank her, again.
I'll give Tazo a plug
My feet are sore
but the rest of me
is wide awake,
I drank Earl Grey tea
at each break
that I was given at work.
We have the greatest Earl Grey Tea,
we really do.
Oh well it's her loss really(isn't it!?)
It's weird when you think that
a woman has no personality,
but then you hear her talking
to another man and she is all animated
and full of life,
and you realize that she just doesn't
have a personality for you.
(To clarify I am talking about mustering
the energy to utter a simple hello to
someone you work with...honey please!!)
Don't let a job get in the way of walking the dogs
I need to take the dogs for a walk,
before I leave for work.
When I have to be at work
When I have to be at work at three,
there is not much time in the day
for me.
I spent most of my first paycheck,
yesterday, catching up on bills.
It is nice to have money.
It is nice to have free time.
Somehow, I will have to find
a balance between the two.
So many rules and regulations
So many rules and regulations
there are in this existence
you can get arrested for not
knowing what is up.
Why the tea gods invented water
Tea makes your mouth dry.
That is why the tea gods invented water.
God is a girl
My Friend: great to hear from you. tell god I said hello.
Mikel K Poet: God is a girl, and I get to bang her. Bye.
i love it. i havent said this for fear of insulting you (because you never know a person's tastes), but i love charles bukowski with all my heart, and your poetry reminds me of his.
i dont mean it is derivative, just that it makes me feel the same way his does. which is a very big compliment, from my point of view.
--jane smithie
I'm going to take a nap
I'm going to take a nap,
try to tap into some energy
that is not currently there.
Don't submit to their paralysis
You can't get strangled by their analysis
if you don't submit to their paralysis,
everybody's got to cook dinner for their kids,
one way or another, even if they don't have a
sister or brother, or have yet to conceive in
a new or the old fashioned way.
Don't kill it
Don't kill it,
unless it's bad breath.
Why you should love me
I'm not very good looking,
and I don't have any money.
I don't have a car,
and I don't want one.
I like living alone.
I don't like being told what to do.
I don't believe in "love."
I don't believe in marriage.
My kids love me.
My dogs and cats love me.
Would you like to have coffee?
Is a smile better than a frown?
You know that the guy or girl trying to
sell you something is going to smile at
you,
but does it hurt to smile at one another
as we interact in society when we don't
want anything from each other?
Too many skateboard shops in Little Five Points
They put a skateboard shop in across the street
from a skateboard shop in Little Five Points, and I don't understand why?
Is the Landlord trying to push the old skateboard shop out?
Some people don't know how to smile
Some people don't know how to smile.
They have the eternal chip on their shoulder.
Everybody owes them something because they are here,
but they are never going to get it, because
nobody wants to deal with their bad attitude.
We all got problems of our own.
The Little Five Points Post Office Sucks
I got to the post office about a minute after five.
They had not closed their door yet, and I said out loud,
"Oh good you're still open."
"No we're not," said the postal man who never smiles,
with a smile.
"Even for a book of stamps," I said;. (I have been buying
stamps at this place for centuries...)
"Even for stamps," he said.
I couldn't help it, "This place sucks," I said loudly,
as I left, and I will never step foot in that post office again.
The people who work there all have an attitude.
They don't know how to smile. They are slow.
They are ungrateful that they have a good paying job
at a time when many, many other people are losing their jobs.
They were ungrateful to have a good paying job even when
people weren't losing their jobs.
They have no holiday spirit.
They have not spirit at all.
They have no heart and soul.
They suck.
I missed the bus by minutes.
I just watched it drive off
from my stop.
The dogs like to eat, too
The dogs were very glad to get back on the sidewalk,
tonight. I had not taken them around the block
in a couple of days. A job can seriously cut into
your dog walking time, but that is o.k., because
with a job you are sure to be able to feed them!
For the rest of us
The turtles seem to over mourning
the loss of their brother fish.
That is how things go,
time is a healer;
with the passage of time,
things that hurt us, greatly,
become but a distant memory.
I saw a dead Christmas tree
lieing by the side of the road,
as I walked the dogs, tonight;
it somehow seemed sad that the tree
was brought into existence
for such a short period of time,
worshiped and then discarded,
sort of like a model
who gets banished from the cover
of the magazines as her looks fade.
It must be harder for good looking people
to get older, than it is for the rest of us.
I'm a barista
I put smiles on peoples' faces
by putting a warm drink in their hands,
whipped cream on their lips,
caffeine in their systems.
I'm a barista.
To You
I'm trying to not do bad
even when I'm doing bad,
if that makes any sense to you.
I'm An American Boy
I was raised on promises,
just the the American girl
in Tom Petty's song.
I was taught taught that
the quarterback gets to fuck
the prettiest cheerleader,
and that grades don't matter
as much, if at all, for someone
who wants to go to college
and can run the hundred yard dash
under 10 seconds.
You're not supposed to lead with your chin
She says that she is looking for someone kind,
and I tell her that I am kind.
I wonder if any of us are truly kind,
or kind all the time,
but I wouldn't tell her that I was mean,
if I was mean now would I?
You are not supposed to lead with your chin,
is something that my father used to say,
that makes a great deal of sense now.
It is funny how the older I get,
the more that some things that my father said
make sense.
I bet that that will be true for my son, also.
Maybe it does
I am probably not as uncomplicated
as I portray myself to be,
she likes to talk about past lovers.
I am tired, this morning, my legs,
especially, are sore, from standing
on them for eight hours, yesterday.
I love what I do, while I stand:
fix coffee drinks for people,
and do all the things that are related to
working as a barista.
I will meet her, today, and see if
we get along as well in person
as we do on the internet.
We will get to look at each other,
and decide if what we see is acceptable.
I hope she doesn't talk a lot about her ex's;
it seems to me that what has happened before
doesn't much matter; but maybe it does.
"In English jargon, the term "barista" refers to one
who has acquired some level of expertise in the preparation
of espresso-based coffee drinks."--Wikipedia
The bitchy girl didn't work today
I like her,
but she is hard to work with,
often falling into a bad mood,
angry about this or that.
She musters smiles for the customers,
and some of the women who she works with,
reserving her frowns and scowls for me,
and some of the other ladies.
I really need to remember that I should not
let other people's moods affect mine,
but it easier to work with someone who is in
a good mood.
Real jobs steal poems from poets
I told a friend that real jobs steal poems from poets,
and she said, "Yes, but they also give you things to
write about."
There is a happy medium in here somewhere, and I will find it.
Being tired often puts me in a pissy mood
My feet are sore and I am tired, and in a bit of a pissy mood.
Being tired often puts me in a pissy mood, just like being hungry
makes people, sometimes, not smile. In the morning, after
a good night's sleep, I will wake refreshed, and not be pissy.
That should tell us all something
Today, we will have an after Christmas sale at work.
I wonder how many people will have money left after Christmas?
We had a smaller tree this year, than we usually do,
and it was a fake one, instead of a real one,
and we had less presents under it than we normally do,
but you know what?
It was as brilliant and loving a Christmas as we have ever had,
and that should tell us all something.
An uneventful morning
Nothing significant happened this morning;
I woke up in a usual way with the dogs a bit edgy.
They like to go outside.
They like to eat,
and, sometimes, they like to wake me by licking my hand.
My new coffee cup
I got a new coffee cup for Christmas
my oldest boy and his wife gave it to me;
it is not big enough for coffee,
but it will come in handy for drinking tea.
Things are going nicely right now
I had no dreams of her, last night,
just another long conversation with her
on the internet.
We seem to mesh, fairly well.
A picture is being painted
Her inner beauty has already been revealed,
and she will soon share her outer beauty with me.
I can't believe that it is Christmas day. Santa brought me an incredibly good attitude this year, and much personal gratitude, and happiness, and for that I am very, very thankful.
I went to bed, late; 3 a.m., and was awoken by the dogs meanly barking at someone standing outside our front door. Groggily, I opened the door, and there was a young woman standing there crying, saying that, "her bus left at noon, and she didn't have the money."
Crack addict, was my first thought. I don't want her near my abode was my second thought, but the first thing that I said was, "hang on," and I meandered towards my spare change jar, and pulled out a dollar to give to her.
I think that she tried to tell me that that was not enough for the bus, sounding much like an American Corporation begging for more bailout money from the government.
"That's all I've got," I said to her, firmly, and she kind of huffed off of my porch.
I probably should have put that dollar in the Salvation Army bucket.
That young lady, with Christmas tears in her eyes, will probably put a couple of dollars together, and get high for Christmas, but it is not my business to worry about, or try to dictate what she does with her money.
I have been taught that God, or our Higher Power, or whatever you want to call, if you do want to call it, or call on it, has given us free will. I was free to give her a dollar, she is free to do what she wants with that dollar.
I felt a bit guilty that I didn't just go ahead and give her the 75 cents more that she needed to ride the bus, but, you know, I didn't really believe that she was trying to get bus fare. It was 10 a.m., when she woke me from the coolest dream that I have had in a long time. She had two hours to find 75 cents more, and I bet that if she was waking up everyone in the neighborhood, crying on everyone's doorstep that she would find it.
I'm not really sure of the greater meaning of this story, or even why I am sharing it with you. It was certainly a different way to start Christmas Day.
I wish that life was perfect for everyone, today, and everyday; but it's not, now is it? Santa can't be all things to all people; and The Creator did not create a perfect world.
Let's be glad for what we have, because, in so many different ways, many, many people do not have what we have, are not as fortunate as us.
Merry Christmas
Mikel K
New Year's Eve
My most memorable New Year's Eve will be the one that is coming up: New Year's Eve 2009, and a large part of the reason for that is that I will be able to remember it, and what happened during it the next morning, January 2, 2009. For the longest time,
in my life, New Year's Eve was another excuse, the first of 365 excuses, in the year, to get blasted; blackout, cause trouble, wake up hung-over, near jail.
You look pretty in a party dress
You do drugs to relieve the stress;
I used to drink to keep from putting
a bullet in my head.
You look pretty in a party dress;
with me, way more than my hair is a mess,
but for tonight you are my fantasy girl
but for tonight you are my fantasy lover
and,
won't you hold me, tight?
It is 31 minutes until Christmas...
A world that didn't love you
At certain times in my existence,
I've gotten so low, with nowhere
to go but further into what was
making me feel so down and out.
"Take me home. Take me fucking home,"
I would scream out to The Lord, and
now I am glad that my prayers weren't
answered.
I wish i could make you feel perfect
every moment of every day; I wish that
I could make sure that you never feel
the way that I used to feel,
like a dog kicked around by world that
didn't love you.
I want a woman
I want a woman who would die for me.
I want a woman who would kill for me.
I want a woman to kill, and die for.
I just took Morisson, and Bundy for their Christmas Eve walk. To the dogs, I sensed, it was just a walk like any other walk: they did their thing, sniffing, peeing pooping, wagging their tails, and attempting to get as far away from me as they could, while attached to the leashes that I was holding.
There was something surreal about the evening. Santa was out there, somewhere, but there was no snow in sight. The sky seemed to be lit up, somehow, like it was being made easier for the fat old man with all the toys to see his way around the world.
There are some nice Christmas lights attached to houses in my neighborhood. I love to look at the lights, these days, as much as I love to open a present or two, while gathered with the kids, and the kind of weird extended family that we have.
I said weird, but not un-loving.
After, over 20 years together, the people who have helped raise our kids have developed a deep love for each other, that I guess that can only occur when you have been at serious odds with each other, with regards to raising the kids. At certain times, during all of it, each one of us thought that we knew more than the other about what was right, both for the kids, and for ourselves.
We got through all of that, though, and tomorrow we will party like the Rock Stars that we are.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Carpe Diem.
Famous Gemini Writers
May 21 to June 20 is Gemini.
Bellow, Saul (10 June)
Bourne, Randolph (30 May)
Brooks, Gwendolyn (7 June)
Carson, Rachel (27 May)
Carver, Raymond (25 May)
Chabon, Michael (24 May)
Collins, Joan (23 May)
Doyle, Arthur Conan (22 May)
Flanagan, John (22 May)
Fleming, Ian (28 May)
Frank, Anne (12 June)
Ginsberg, Allen (3 June)
Giovanni, Nikki (7 June)
Hammett, Dashiell (27 May)
Howe, Julia Ward (27 May)
K, Mikel (20 June)
Laurie, Hugh (11 June)
Lorca, Federico Garcia (5 June)
Myers, Mike (25 May)
Pope, Alexander (21 May)
Robbins, Harold (21 May)
Rushdie, Salman (19 June)
Sayers, Dorothy (13 June)
Stowe, Harriet Beecher (14 June)
Strieber, Whitley (13 June)
Styron, William (11 June)
Van Allsburg, Chris (18 June)
Wagner, Richard (22 May)
Whitman, Walt (31 May)
Wolff, Tobias (19 June)
Yeats, William Butler (13 June)
Yep, Laurence (14 June)
While the dogs howled at the moon
Awww, i was going to take you to the park and fuck you under the stars,
while the dogs howled at the moon.
Recovery From Rock n Roll Poetry Superstar Dreams
Once you get over the idea that you might could be a huge
rock n roll poet superstar, life settles in, and you find
that being normal is really not such a bad thing to be.
My favorite coffee cake is leaking very badly.
It is a 20 oz. cup, the hard plastic kind
that they serve at pizza places, red in color.
If you have an extra one, please let me know.
I am really going to be lost without this cup.
It is familiar to me, like gloves in the winter
might be to you.
I enjoy regular coffee cups, and have quite a few
of them, but they do not do for me what this cup
does for me.
I like my job; I really like it. The cash register,which was once so scary, is, now, almost, my friend. I stand in front of it for hours, say hello to people, find out what kind of coffee drink, and baked goods they like, and "do they have their card from the corporation with them," give them their change, and move on to the next person in line.
I am, slowly, learning to make all the coffee drinks. There is a cheat sheet that I can use, that helps greatly. It tells me how many shots of this, how many squirts of that are to go into each drink.
I am amazed at the speed which my co-workers can both ring up people on the cash register, and whip up coffee drinks. Besides them, it is as if I am paralyzed, but I would think that they all have once been where I am.
Santa just announced that he has had to lay off half of the elves, and several of his reindeer, and stated, in a just released press release, that he would be several hours late, this year, unless he got a government bailout. Kids would not get as many presents, this year, either, unless Washington gives him some cash, Santa told reporters in an impromptu news conference outside his North Pole toy shop.
Santa does not want to be held accountable for the bailout money that is given him, and is reluctant to provide the government his game plan for use of the bailout money, should it be given to him to help make Christmas happen like it normally happens.
Mrs. Claus was, recently, seen with tears in her eyes, gnashing her teeth, and wringing her hands together. It is rumored that she has had to cut back on her baking of Christmas cookies, this year, and can't fatten Santa up as much as she has done in years past for his long trip around the world on December 24th.
A representative for the laid off elves, said that it was "a sad, sad day,"for the elves. Most of them are too old, and too weird looking, to get hired anywhere else, and their retirement money was stolen by a very, greedy Grinch-like man, who resides in a fantastic penthouse in New York City and was trusted with the elves retirement funds. The elves were scared that the heat to their homes would be soon turned off, as their cash was low. Food Stamps were not much of an option for them, as the government was putting most of its money into bombs to drop on people in other countries, and not into programs that would feed the hungry at home.
Rudoph, who has not yet been canned, said that it was a cold, cold day at the North Pole, indeed. "Sure I have a job," he said to reporters, "But do you know how awful it is to see friends, co-workers and complete strangers suffer like this? Besides, you can't feel secure right now, as a worker in the United States, because if it can happen to your brother and sister, it can happen to you."
Santa said that Rudolph would have to fly this year, with his bright nose turned off, to save on the utility bill.
Santa issued a. "Ho ho ho," but it was a weak one.
God bless us all said Tiny Tim, who had just lost his health insurance.
The Grinch and Scrooge were the only ones happy about all these developments at The North Pole, for obvious reasons.
Charlie Brown, Snoopy and their gang were huddling to see if there was anything they could do to help Santa. They asked that people only turn their Christmas lights on only half of the time, this Holiday Season, and send the money that they save, if any, to Santa.
"A friend in need is a friend, indeed," said Lucy, and, right now, Santa needs friends.
RIP Sydnee Vee
I went to feed him, this morning,
and he was belly up;
no more Sydnee V.
I was sad. I had this fish for
over two years. I don't know if
the cold weather got him, or what.
I am going to bury him in a flower pot,
and not flush him down the toilet,
and then I'm going to buy a nice flower
to put over him.
Sydnee V, you were a great fish;
I know that if there is a fish heaven
that you are there.
Rest in peace, my fish friend.
What's up with that?
Several days ago, the temperature was 78 degrees
in Atlanta. Last night, the temperature hovered
between 20 and 30 degrees. This weekend, the temperature
is supposed to go back up to 78 degrees.
One day, here in Atlanta, in the winter,
we are wearing shorts, and the next day
we are wearing winter coats, scarves, and woolly hats.
What's up with that?
No
One(or both?) of the dogs
got into the trash, yesterday evening,
while I was at Yoga.
That is the first time
that that has happened
in a long time.
I am home less, due to a new job.
Maybe that was the reason,
for the trash invasion:
the dog(s) were registering protest
about my absence.
Or, maybe, it has something to do with
the new feeding schedule
that I started the dogs on, yesterday;
feeding them the same amount of food,
but over two feedings, one in the a.m.
and one in the p.m. instead of just
one in the a.m.
I am trying to use positivistic training
methods with my dogs, these days, but
I have to admit that I did take them
both over to the trash can and repeatedly
said, "No," a few times.
What's up with that?
Several days ago, the temperature was 78 degrees
in Atlanta. Last night, the temperature hovered
between 20 and 30 degrees. This weekend, the temperature
is supposed to go back up to 78 degrees.
One day, here in Atlanta, in the winter,
we are wearing shorts, and the next day
we are wearing winter coats, scarves, and woolly hats.
What's up with that?
No cookie: an opportunity for a random act of kindness negated
One of my Yoga instructors baked the best cookies,
and shared them with us, at the studio, tonight.
I had already eaten several of them when she said,
"Stick one in your pocket," so I took another one.
As I was walking home, a guy wandered up to me
and mumbled something. He was staring at my cookie.
It was the luscious chocolate cookie, the best one
of her very good batch of cookies; the one filled with
yummy peanut butter.
This man kept staring at my cookie, and I heard myself
say, "No," as I was thinking about what to do. I wasn't
going to give this man my cookie.
On the one hand, I feel like I should have given him
my cookie. On the other hand, I feel like he expected me
to give him my cookie, like he felt that I was obligated
to give him my cookie.
I am greedy with my cookies, especially the gooey chocolate
peanut butter one that my Yoga instructor bakes. I will
have to find another way, another opportunity, to perform
an act of random kindness.
I like eerie dolls
I had no dreams that I can remember, last night;
the dogs woke me up a bit early, but I was ready
to get up, anyway, when they did.
Someone had thrown a box of toys,
and Christmas decorations out,
left them by a telephone pole in front of my abode.
I ignored the toys and decorations, yesterday,
saying to myself that I have enough crap in my home,
enough small toys left over from when my kids were young,
but, this morning, I snooped into the box
and came away with some nice Christmas decorations
and an eerie doll.
I like eerie dolls; I will find a nice home for this one.
My favorite coffee cup
My favorite coffee cup is in the final stages of its existence;
it is dripping coffee fairly profusely from its bottom.
I like this cup so much, that, each morning, I put a face cloth
on my desk to catch the escaping coffee, so that I can still sip from it.
One of the reasons that I like this cup so much is that it holds
more coffee than a regular coffee cup.
Funny how we get used to certain things about the house.
I also have a weird attachment to this old beat up frying pan
that I have. I really should throw it out and buy a new one,
but I like the way my old one feels. I asked for a new coffee maker
for Christmas, but then changed my mind.
There was nothing wrong with the old one, I decided.
Why add another object to the landfill, just yet, I thought to myself.
I might have done a million things wrong
I might have done a million things wrong,
but I did one thing right;
I looked in your eyes, but I didn't steal your heart.
When I'm on my own
When I'm on my own,
far far from home,
when I don't have
any money,
when I feel down and out,
I think of you,
and your smile
gets me through.
When I'm busted,
when I don't have a clue,
when I'm lost inside and out,
you shine through,
you love tells me that I'm
going to make it
when we make love you don't fake it.
When I'm busted, broke, down and out
you never turn me out.
When I'm clueless, you give me a clue.
I used to want my face on the cover
of magazines, now I just want my face
looking at you.
la la la la la la la
All the same
Scout brought home the best cookies,
triple chocolate was what I think it said,
on the bag.
The cookies were soft. I love soft cookies.
Scout let me have one, before I ate dinner,
and then I traded her five pieces of gum,
for another one, after dinner.
"You can have one," she said, "We don't have to
trade," but I saw her looking at the gum, all the same.
Dedication
I met a guy, today, who said
that he practices Yoga
three or four hours a day.
I did not feel inadequate,
but was impressed at his level
of dedication,
and I will start putting more time
into my practice, immediately.
Why spend more time in the drawer?
Why spend more time in the drawer
than you have to looking for a spoon,
when a fork will do to stir the Stevia
in your green tea?
Perspective
In Vietnam,
the Vietnam War
is know as
the American War.
Green Beans and Successful Friends
I have two friends who own a coffee shop.
They are starting to roast their own beans.
They bought a bean roaster for thousands of
dollars, which means that the business is
going well, and I am proud of both of them,
and happy for them.
The other night, one of my coffee shop owning friends,
gave another friend of mine, and I, a tour of the roasting room.
It is a small room, but it is full of love,
and the wonderful smell of freshly roasted coffee beans.
I had never seen a green coffee bean before,
a bean before it is roasted, and in this roasting room,
there were huge bags of them.
My friend gave me a handful of green beans,
and they sit, now, on my desk in front of me.
I love coffee, and I love it when my friends are successful.
Multi-tasking
I am scratching two dogs heads at once,
as I often have to do,
when I start scratching one dog's head.
As when you have more than one kid,
you have to learn,
when you have more than one dog,
how to share you attention
how to share you affection,
multi-tasking, it might be called.
Time and money
Time and money
time and money
time and money;
sometimes,
I don't have enough of either.
Anything for a buck shit heads
I have pesticides floating around in my body
I realized today, talking to somebody who
was telling me how poisonous a can of tuna is.
I love tuna, and my cat, Kobain, loves drinking
the water that I drain from the can, and put in his bowl.
Who are the assholes that pollute our oceans?
How can they look themselves in the mirror,
these anything for a buck shit heads?
Time and Money
She's tired of being the mother and the father.
She doesn't want to go through with men,
what she has gone through with men before.
Fourth Step
I used to have great eyes,
and a killer smile,
but I drank them away,
in dimly lit bars
trying to be a superstar.
I woke up wide awake, this morning, on four hours sleep,
and I said to myself that I need to get up and make use
of this free and available time, so I am up writing, and
reading, and drinking this really nice hazelnut coffee
that my oldest boy, and his wife, gave me for Christmas.
I don't usually like flavored coffees, but this one is
yum, yum, especially since it came from these two fine
human beings. Did I tell you that these two fine, fine
human beings are going to make me a grandfather in February?
It's a boy and his name is Elliott.
I am really glad to be alive to see this event, and
to take part in it. I probably should have died, back
during the day when I was drinking into a blackout, regularly,
and engaging in blacked out behaviors, but I didn't and I
am going to be a proud, helpful, and loving grandfather.
Grandfather?
Geez, am I that old??!!
